Goodbye Love, Hello Disease

I broke up with Adam today. You are probably wondering why I can say it so blatantly. He can blame me 100%... But I felt it was for the best. We both are at different points in our lives. It was extremely difficult to sit there and pour out those thoughts. It was difficult not to cry. It was difficult to admit everything. I just had to tell him. I just couldn't keep it to myself. We've been dating for 3 years, 4 months, and 2 weeks. I kept track all along. He was my first true love. I'm sorry we had to end as a couple, but I feel it would benefit both of us if we stayed close friends. I will always love him. I will always be there for him. It's his choice if he wants that from me. I will never stop giving unless he doesn't want me to. I hope he lets me in instead of pushing me away. I'd like to stay friends.... It's time for both of us to focus on our lives ahead. It's unfortunate that my worries about the future is my chronic illness that will follow me as I grow.

Dear Adam,
If you area reading this, I just want to let you know that I still care. You will always be a big part of my life. You have given me so much and you didn't even realize it. Here's how I feel.
A heart is something that can be replenished with love. It doesn't matter what kind of love or who it's from. It just has to be there, genuine and raw. You are like a brother to me. Everything you say counts and everything you do shows how much you love me back. You've also said that I was one of your closest friends. Let us stay that way. Please, don't hold back from talking to me, laughing with me, giving me a hug, or accepting a hug from me, hanging out, being goofy, and having long chats about life. I am, by no means, saying adieu because that's not the point. Keep smiling and I know you will find someone who loves you just as much as I do. If you need me, you know where to call. I will always be your friend, no matter what.