Jan. 23rd, 2009

c_for_chaos: (Icon Ugly Face)
I am comfortably nestled in my bathtub. I don't know why I do this sometimes, but it serves me well to have a laptop for my writings. 
I haven't done much since I last posted. I went to German and conquered my Taco Bell craving. It was fairly nice to lose the craving. Yet a part of it still lingers... I believe I am one of those people who have to be sick of one thing to get over the cravings. Adam tested me on German vocabulary. I practically aced my quiz on chapters one and two. Yay me! I had an hour long conversation with my friend Tina. She informed me that I could get a locker! *jumps with joy* The lockers at MCC are reserved for art students and students with disabilities. I wont have to break my back any longer. The joys of being at a community college. Then again at a university, I had a dorm room instead of a locker. I think many people take universities for granted. I was at NIU for 3 consecutive semesters. Believe it or not, I am more comfortable at MCC. Everything is a little different and condensed. But I find that the people are so much nicer. Many of my friends also attend classes. I see a lot of people from high school that I knew.

Here is another surprise: I am the only guide dog user on campus. There seem to be only 2 students, including myself, who have vision impairments. I've gotten several different reactions to a dog in the building, but most of them were pleasant comments and remarks. Everyone loves Jim. MCC's mascot is the Scottish terrier. I get comments that Jim should be the live mascot because he looks like he's part terrier. It's rather cute and if GDF agrees to let me, I'd be happy to oblige and wear my colors proud. I learned that MCC's school colors are blue, white, and a little burgandy. 

The only negative aspect of MCC is it's building structure. It has sectors that are named with letters. Building A is in the center and the oldest building on campus. It has an atrium which is like a foyer but with more glass windows. Buildings B, C, D, E, F surround building A. Thus, MCC is sort of a maze of squares. It's a little difficult to navigate around the buildings. If you take the wrong elevator, you may find yourself in the first floor of A instead of the 3rd floor of A. But, still, I like it in a sense, for it's challenge.   

MCC's music department is where I usually spend my time out of class. I am in a practice room playing the piano or the trumpet or singing. It's rather very similar to high school when I spent all my free time in the band room or the band hallway. I don't think I will ever escape my love of music and fine arts. Speaking of fine arts, Susan helped me locate the Black Box Theater. It is well blended with surrounding classrooms. But when one steps inside, the entire room is painted black and there are lights and other equipment that makes one realize that it's not an ordinary class room, but a performance space. Someday, I will perform in there. For now, I will settle for the conference center which is MCC's auditorium.

The piece Lux Aurumque was composed by Eric Whitacre and sung by ASC (the Atlanta Sacred Chorale). This performance is very well done..... I am impressed with how perfect it is. I want to embrace this music until I can no longer sing a note. The dissonance is incredible, but beautiful in an unavoidable way. Eric Whitacre will forever remain one of my top favorite composers and one of those people I would like to meet in my lifetime.

Denial

Jan. 23rd, 2009 07:24 pm
c_for_chaos: (This is how I feel)
I am beyond grief. I found out that my uncle passed away from cancer this evening... 
He was my best friend, a listener, a guardian, a comedian....
Someone that I trusted and someone who never judged me, but loved me for who I was.
He was incredible. Not only for his confidence in me, but for his acceptance and love.
I cannot believe he is actually gone.
My dear uncle Bob, someone I sometimes took for granted... someone who I sometimes didn't understand... someone that I knew or thought I knew would always be there.  He was at my high school graduation... and on that proud day, he watched as I got my diploma.
In June, he left my birthday/graduation party and gave me a hug. Did you know that hugs should really be cherished?
I thought this man was invincible. Every memorable event, he was always there.
So many memories.... I guess giving him an uptrillion amount of hugs on Christmas, the last time I saw him.
My parents did not allow me to go with them to see my uncle.
He died in his home at 5:50 PM or around that time.
Apparently, he's still there, but it may not be so at this time.
I am devastated to know this and not have been there or at least seen him again..
Because of this, I am still in denial.
Maybe, just maybe, he's still here? Please.......? Just once? Let him be there....
I miss him.... I miss him so much....

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