Remember When...

I remember when I was innocent. I remember when there was pain but only pain that was skin deep. Nothing could touch my heart and smiles were very common even if they were fake. There were so many moments in life where was only screaming and fighting. But I learned how to drown it out and walk away unscathed. However, this very day, at age 19, I know what pain is. I know how it burns more than any fire. These days seem to grow longer and longer... to the point where it's only dark. Winter is my cloak and I am usually very well shielded from that of which is sunlight. Darkness is comforting and throws a shadow over what's negative. But what if, I can't hide from the past anymore? It's time to move on, don't you think? Time to face fears, even if I do fall on my face, continue walking until I can see only white. White for purity and sanity or insanity?

Tomorrow is Halloween, my favorite holiday. There are so many good things coming my way and yet the past and all the stuff I have yet to accomplish is clouding my vision of happiness that I so desperately need. Those who are reading may be thinking that I am being obnoxious and should just get all the stupid shit over with. But it's not that easy, motivation is not my friend right now, nor has it ever been for a long time.

Oh well, we will just wing it and see what happens, eh?