It's Been A Couple Days...

NIU dismissed me..... I'm devastated, but I'm not.
I mean I'm not proud of the fact that I was dropped from a major university and I know this will set me back from my dreams.
But I think rather than continuously bashing my head into walls like I've done for so long.... I should sort my thoughts.
Agree or disagree? I have a plan. It will eventually get me where I want to go.
To be honest, that's all I'm asking for.
I just wish my parents understood what it's like for me.
I'm the first one in my immediate family to go to college.
My sister will avoid my fuck-ups and deal fine. Why me first? 
My parents don't trust me.... They have never trusted me even when I was in high school.
Overbearing attitudes isn't going to help me succeed. Why claim that you are helping me if you are doing exactly the opposite? 
Don't they understand that I want to be accepted rather than harshly beat upon?
Treating me like I don't have a disability is one thing. I like knowing that my parents wouldn't have treated me differently if I was fully sighted.
Consistently making me feel worthless is another.
I am so tired of "you're lazy" or "you're not going to make it".
I'm tired of the lack of pride that my parents see in me.
It all falls on my sister like I'm not even here.
It's cold.... I'm done with this post for now.
Yay for updates...