AGH!!!

Gah!! I despise meek, weak, family, and stay-at-home boys!!! God...
I hate that I can't convince someone to go somewhere... I hate it that my friend can....
I hate how he only agreed because my friend played dumb and said that I was going but am not sure about if he is.
I hate how he's not thrilled about spending time with friends and me. Even if it is a lot of time.
I hate how he doesn't realize that school will soon separate us and I hate that he is OK with time running out.
I hate that it's an issue for me to beg him to go somewhere. I hate that people don't agree with me.
I hate that I have to sit here and wonder how much I am really loved.
I hate sitting here wondering if I'll ever find a true person who loves me and loves to spend time with me no matter how much time it is or how horribly bipolar I am.
I hate having someone I really like who has someone else.
I hate that we're both taken, but not completely happy.
I hate restrictions.
I hate prison, my mind sure as hell makes it seem like I'm in jail.
I hate being alone. I hate thinking.
I hate having emotions that I'm not sure what to do with.
I hate how I overused the word "hate".
I hate people who use me to find information for events that they want to go to.
I hate last minute invites even though I know I'll have fun.
It seems that I hate a lot of things.
When will I reverse this cycle and smile again?