c_for_chaos

I am beyond grief. I found out that my uncle passed away from cancer this evening... 
He was my best friend, a listener, a guardian, a comedian....
Someone that I trusted and someone who never judged me, but loved me for who I was.
He was incredible. Not only for his confidence in me, but for his acceptance and love.
I cannot believe he is actually gone.
My dear uncle Bob, someone I sometimes took for granted... someone who I sometimes didn't understand... someone that I knew or thought I knew would always be there.  He was at my high school graduation... and on that proud day, he watched as I got my diploma.
In June, he left my birthday/graduation party and gave me a hug. Did you know that hugs should really be cherished?
I thought this man was invincible. Every memorable event, he was always there.
So many memories.... I guess giving him an uptrillion amount of hugs on Christmas, the last time I saw him.
My parents did not allow me to go with them to see my uncle.
He died in his home at 5:50 PM or around that time.
Apparently, he's still there, but it may not be so at this time.
I am devastated to know this and not have been there or at least seen him again..
Because of this, I am still in denial.
Maybe, just maybe, he's still here? Please.......? Just once? Let him be there....
I miss him.... I miss him so much....